Monday Silliness – Songs to Dirty Dance To

I’ve actually been trying to write a mental ‘best dirty-dancing songs’ list for a while now. However, the bar I set myself for this list was perhaps too high – I was trying to construct my list with only the ‘timeless’ bump ‘n’ grind songs. ‘There’s such a thing?’ I hear you ask. Yes, there is. See, when I was in High School, Ice Cube’s – You can Do It was the ultimate ‘rush to the dance floor to back dat ass up’ song.’ But people don’t really feel that song the same way anymore. I’m talking about that ‘you’ve been lining up for the bathroom for 20 minutes, but when that song comes on you lose your place in line just so you can go get nasty on the dancefloor’ pulling factor. It’s tough criteria to live up to, so I figured, who cares, let’s just celebrate our favourite dirty dancing songs, just because. Because it’s Monday, because they’re fun, because the lyrics are always lol worthy, because the boss won’t mind if you begin humping the desk just a lil bit, and because they bring back so many beautiful memories….riiiiight? Also, I opened it up to twitter last night and have included a lot of the suggestions. Oh, and while there were many excellent dirty slow-jam suggestions, e.g  Jodeci & Usher springs to mind, not all of those you necessarily really dance to, so, another post perhaps.

Let’s begin with the GOAT dirty dancing song. This is the only song that truly lives up to my lofty criteria, tis a true classic : Ginuwine – Pony:

Key lyrics: ‘if you’re horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony, my saddle’s waiting, come and jump on it.’

Rihanna – Rude Boy: The song is dirty, but the video took it through the roof. I think Rude Boy’s effect on dance floors is the closest I’ve seen come to Ginuwine’s Pony, but only time will truly tell. All I know is every female tries in some way to emulate Riri’s  moves when the song drops.

Key lyrics: ‘Come here rude boy, boy can you get it up? Come here rude boy, boy is you big enough?’ 

R.Kelly – Bump’n’Grind (suggested by @m_moors) This is kind of in slow jam territory but with R.Kelly humping up a storm on stage I thought I’d include it, plus it was a popular choice last night on twitter. Holy shizz, how did we not pick up back when this video came out that R.Kelly is utterly insane? Or did we? I can’t remember. What has been forever etched in my mind, is that there’s nothing wrong with a little bump and grind.

Key lyric: “I don’t see nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind” 

Next – Too Close (suggested by @PeninaJoy & @CT_amosa) These lyrics are so audacious, and stupid and hilarious… and literal. It’s pretty much the dummy’s ‘how to’ guide on dirty dancing and it’s consequences. *sings* ‘I feel a little poke coming through, on you.’ *shudders*

Key lyric: “baby when we’re grinding, I get so excited…you’re making it haaaaard for me”.

2Pac – How Do You Want It? You know, depending on what clubs you frequent, this could still be on Ginuwine levels for many people.

Key lyric: “I love the way you activate your hips and push your ass out”.

Britney Spears – I’m A Slave 4 U (suggested by @CT_amosa) This is being included purely because of her pink crotch leather pants. And because Toma suggested it. And the thought of Toma dirty dancing to Britney Spears cracks me up.

Key lyric: “Baby, don’t you wanna, dance up on me?”

Beyonce – Crazy In Love – The majority of the songs listed have been the slower kind of dirty dancing, this is the more energetic, fast-booty-shaking-everywhere kind. No one does that better than Beyonce.


Key lyric: “I been playin myself, baby I don’t care…”

Salt N Pepa – Gitty Up – This was the female equivalent to Ice Cube’s – You Can Do It. This probably still goes hard in Hastings.

Key lyric: “Gitty up baby, gitty up, gitty up, say whaaaat

Edit: Juvenile – Back That Ass Up Yazhi suggested Outkast’s The Way You Move and Juvenile – Slow Motion, which then reminded me of Juvenile’s Back That Ass Up. Sorry Yaz, but I gotta include this one. I believe it’s also the first time I heard Lil Wayne on a record with him rapping ‘drop it like it’s hot, drop, drop it like it’s hot’. Does anyone know if Lil Wayne was the first person to drop that phrase on record?

Key lyric: “Youse a fine muthaf***a won’t you back that ass up”

Wreckx-N-Effect – Rump Shaker (As suggested by @Pilot_Magazine/Andy Pickering) This video rules, check out the woman playing/pashing the sax in the ocean. Awesome. Bonus suggestion : something by Digital Undergroud.

I think my dislike for these final two songs probably shows my age, I just don’t like them in the slightest, teeniest, tiniest bit – but when it comes to people getting it in on the dancefloor these two songs are what people are most def in to at the moment. And hey, all power to your thigh muscles. I suppose I’m too busy asking DJ09 to play ‘Mean Mug’ LOL – now there’s a sexy song.

Ludacris – How Low When that silly baby voice asks ‘how low can you go?’ watch how people respond. Heaps low. (P.S. Ludacris What’s Your Fantasy & Splash Waterfalls >>>>>> than this song).


Key lyric: “Go low, lower than you go”

Ester Dean Chris Brown – Drop it Low (suggested by ashElliott) – drop it drop it drop it, pop it pop it pop it, repeat x100

Key lyric: “drop it low girl, drop it, drop it low girl.” 

5 Responses to Monday Silliness – Songs to Dirty Dance To

  1. Marns Trego March 19, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    I was just listening to Rude Boy too. It was the first song i looked for when i got to work this afternoon. lol

  2. Penz March 19, 2012 at 1:55 pm #

    LOL! Shot Lanz! This is too cool hahahaha
    Was just thinking Nerds Lapdance is pretty good too or maybe it just gets me going lol

  3. Donna March 19, 2012 at 3:52 pm #

    Hilarious! Personally, it’s always the ones with the raggae beats that get me (Rude Boy included) like Letting Go (Dutty Love) or anything Beanie Man. You can take the girl out of Samoa College… lol Great post xx

  4. Liz March 23, 2012 at 1:24 pm #

    Nice list, probably throw a Pretty Ricky jam in the mix somewhere also. Perhaps this lil ditty


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