took my diamond to the pawnshop

but that don’t make it junk.

I’ve had my heart broken and a long time ago I broke someone’s heart.  I’m not sure what’s worse – being the breaker or the broken. I know that the guilt of treating someone really badly sticks around a long time and I spent a lot of time fixating on that, trying to make it up, when really I should have just left dude alone, ha. I don’t think any other song, or line, quite articulates the way I felt about that relationship the way Leonard Cohen’s ‘That Don’t Make It Junk’ does. It’s a hard thing to explain, loving someone but not really appreciating them. If you love someone, why do you do things that cheapen the relationship? But just because you fail to appreciate the value of someone, doesn’t make them less valuable. Just because you treat someone like crap, doesn’t make them crap. Taking a diamond to the pawnshop doesn’t make it junk. It might cheapen the value YOU place on it, but it doesn’t make it junk.

I fought against the bottle,
But I had to do it drunk
Took my diamond to the pawnshop
But that don’t make it junk.
I know that I’m forgiven,
But I don’t know how I know
I don’t trust my inner feelings
Inner feelings come and go.

The only good thing about seeing the pain you inflict on someone you care about is knowing that you never, ever want to make anyone feel like that ever again. If you’re fortunate to come across a diamond again, you’ll know what to do, and more importantly what not to do, to keep it.

P.S. I guess this kind of fits with what I was talking about in the last BU2MU – we interpret songs to suit ourselves 🙂

2 Responses to took my diamond to the pawnshop

  1. Chantelle Mara May 11, 2011 at 10:39 pm #

    Love your post today! Loving someone but not really appreciating them. I can relate.
    Thanks for making me reflect on the things I need to do and better in my relationship.

  2. lei May 16, 2011 at 7:10 am #

    Thanks Chantelle!

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